EXERCISE: Consciously Working with Polarities with Others

Consciously Working with Polarities with Others:

You can do this work alone, or with the person if they are willing to do the process as well.

Identify the Polarity
Do you want something and the other person wants something different? Do they feel like they are mutually exclusive?  Do you feel like your perspective is right and the other is wrong?  Identify and name both (or more) sides of the polarity.

Explore why you want what you want.

Take a stand. Why are you right? Why is your side better? Why are they wrong? Why should they agree with you? Why don’t you want the other side? What are your really wanting? Is there a desire underneath? What is the force underneath?

Explore the Opposite Fully
Now flip. Imagine you are the other person, or side. Argue for this perspective. What is good about it? Imagine you were having to convince others that this is the right way. Why should you do what the other person wants? Why do they want it? What would happen if you were to be on this side? Is there something you are avoiding in this “opposite” perspective?

Work the Parts
Are their different voices or parts coming up? What does each part want? What is each part giving you? What beliefs or past events are proving to you that they have to be mutually exclusive?

How are they the same?
As you explore both side and the various voices that come up. Is there a commonality? Is this actually just two (or more) perspectives on the same thing? How are they the same? Is there a common desire underneath?

Hold them at the same time

How can we both get what we want? We both want the same thing, how can we work together? What if I let go of that polarity all together and step off of the spectrum. What then? What wants to happen? How can we create something completely new that includes both poles?  Where is life leading me? How can I hold both desires and let them lead me somewhere unknown?

Is there a reframe that dissolves the polarity all together?

Are you compromising or reaching for the technicolor new thing that gets you both what you deeply desire? Are you settling or reaching for something new?