The Meaning Underneath

Have you ever had one of those experiences where you think that you have explained something really clearly, only to have the other person not get it at all? It can be over something simple like a request to do a task, or deeply sharing emotions. We think it is obvious, but it turns out there are all sorts of different interpretations even when we speak the same language.

For example, take the word, “Energy.” What comes to mind?

Did you think of oil, gas, or alternative energy like solar?

Did you think about your physical Energy? Stamina or how tired you are?

Did you think of sports drinks and high carb bars?

Did you think of kilojoules and measurement of power?

Did you think of “chi” and “chakras”? Or maybe what “vibe” you are getting?

We take for granted that other people think the way we think. That even a simple word like energy is going to elicit the same images and thought process.

Also, we can only interpret the word within the parameters of what we already know. If we have never heard of chakras, we are not going to associate the word energy with them.

From deep Purpose we are able to hold both that we are connected, and that we are also unique, and we are able to work with the space between us to create meaning. We understand that each of us has our own set of parameters that impact our interpretation. We have:

• Beliefs
• Past Experiences
• Biases and Filters
• Expertise and Specialized Language
• Maps and Models (Enneagram, Chakras, Myers Briggs, and so on)
• Pattern Preferences

Through communication and a willingness to learn the language of the other, and really deeply listen, we have the opportunity to find meaning together.

Beyond Words

I remember a social occasion where there was an atheist, a former priest, and a mix of mainstream religions represented. Attention was on a single man who was a born-again Baptist. Everyone was having a hard time understanding how he could believe that the world was 6000 years old, want to isolate from society, and so on. There were accusations of brainwashing, and in general, the conversation was argumentative.

I remember seeing something different in his arguments and had the chance to talk to him alone. I asked how he had decided to become a born-again Christian. He described having an experience during one of the church services that was profound, beautiful, and very similar to experiences I had when meditating and in ecstatic states: feeling connected to God and loved like never before. In that conversation, we exchanged deep appreciation for what we both experienced as God.

I shared in a way that honored that person’s interpretation of what happened and offered mine. I remember him describing his vision of heaven as sitting at the feet of the Lord for all of eternity. When I heard that, I laughed as I blurted out, “Maybe 10 million years would be okay, but I think eventually I would get bored!” He laughed too.

Before leaving, he gave me a hug and invited me to his church, commenting that I was one of them and just didn’t know it yet.

When we are able to go beyond the language and feel what is beneath, we are able to find meaning and Connection, and come into a new relationship with each other. The only difference between this devoted man and myself is that from his perspective, the Baptist Church was the cause of his experience. When we try to argue the pros and cons of the specific form such as which religion is right, we miss the point. When we dive beneath the surface, we are able to feel the truth of the Four Forces as universal desire and experience.

While the forms we choose might be different (such as which religion), we can find common ground in experience and the meaning underneath.