Lesson 1 of0
In Progress

Exercise: Do you want to be known?

Trish Blain December 16, 2020

Exercise: Do you want to be known?

When to use: Works well as an introduction to going deeper after there is an ice-breaking introduction level experience such as the bicycle chain.

Forces & Skills: This is used as a connection and expression tool. Connection is the skill of perception and being able to feel the other person. Being willing to reveal yourself and be seen is an experience of Expression.

Prep: Have the 3 questions posted someplace visible to everyone or make sure people have a way to write them down.

Logistics:

Organize people into dyads and have them choose a person A and a person B.

Instructions to Person A: The Asker and The Connector / Perceiver

Your role during this exercise is to bring your attention to the other person and allow yourself to fully experience them.

During this exercise you are going to ask person B, three questions. These questions are not for discussion, you are to wait for the answer, yes or no, and say thank you and ask the next question.

  • Do you want to be known?

Wait for answer yes or no. Either way ask next question.

  • Do you want to be known by me?

Wait for answer yes or no. Either way ask next question.

  • May I connect with you?

If the answer to the third question is No: Say thank you and sit quietly with your partner until the exercise is over for everyone in the group.

If the answer to the third question is YES: You now have permission to connect with this person. Using the skills of perception,  bring your attention to perceiving this person in front of you. Take in this person. How do you experience them as you are sitting quietly with them? As you bring your attention to them, what do you notice? What happens when you look into their eyes? Can you feel their heart? Can you perceive their uniqueness? Their soul?

Instructions to Person B: The Answerer and The Revealer

As Person A asks you the three questions, take a moment to really check in with yourself in this moment with this person. What is your answer to each of the questions? What do you notice when you are asked these questions? Notice what you notice, and give a short answer such as yes, no, or I’m not sure. There should be no discussion.

  • Do you want to be known?

Feel into yourself and see if the answer is yes, or no. Notice what you notice. Give your answer and wait for next question.

  • Do you want to be known by me?

Feel into yourself and see if the answer is yes, or no. Notice what you notice. Give your answer and wait for next question.

  • May I connect with you?

Feel into yourself and see if the answer is yes, or no. Notice what you notice. Give your answer

If the answer to the third question is NO*: Say thank you and sit quietly with your partner until the exercise is over.

If the answer to the third question is YES: Make the conscious choice to reveal yourself and let yourself be seen and experienced. You don’t need to do anything back. You don’t need to connect to them, or be anything or do anything. Your job is to experience yourself being experienced. What does it feel like to simply reveal yourself and be perceived/connected to?

To both Person A & B:

As the Facilitator Emphasize: If the answer is “no” to either of the first two you can still make a conscious choice to still say yes to question 3.

Face each other while doing the exercise.

You will have 3-5 minutes for each turn, and I will let you know what

Then we will switch roles and repeat the process.